I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize