there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
