Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
