I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
