Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
