Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
