My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
