So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
