Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
