are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
