Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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