mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
