I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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