Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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