so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
