I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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