Soap is not a condiment
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
