I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
