I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
