So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No subtext here. People are naked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize