i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
