I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
