Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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