He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
