girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Found your dick twin last night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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