i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
