we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
