You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
