Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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