I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
