She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
