We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
