im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
