Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
