my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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