the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
