My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
