You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
