cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
