doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
