Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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