my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
