i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Randomize
