I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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