Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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