Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
