Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
