Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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