I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
