i may or may not be watching the land before time
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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