Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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