my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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