Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
