I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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