I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
