Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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